Tuesday, May 19, 2009

A Best Friend (I totally wrote this during class...he he he)

So I've noticed in my college career that there are different kinds of friends that exist. When I was smaller I always believed that a friend was a best friend no matter what. I figured that anyone who deserved the title "friend" would be considered trustworthy, loyal, fun, understanding, and lots of other qualities. However, after having some fallouts with some friends, I have found some different categories.

There's the "hi" friend - this friend is the one that you've perhaps met in one of your classes or see every so often and you just say "hi" to them. Beyond that one word, there really isn't a whole lot more communication. When you're walking with other friends, and you pass a bunch of "hi" friends, you may be seen as quite popular! So maybe you should keep these guys around.

There's the "where are you from, etc" friend - this is also someone that you haven't had a whole lot of communication with. You know when you meet a new person, especially at school, you ask the typical questions like "where are you from, how old are you, what's your major" and other things of that nature. You can usually continue these conversations for a long time where there isn't anything more beyond the occasional question and response. It's a polite way of basically saying, "I think you're an all
right person, but I don't see us being friends." But hey, at least you're socializing a little bit!

After that comes the "occasional hangout" friend - you finally asked the person for their number and/or facebook account. After all, being a friend on facebook means you're real friends right? So, if you're desperately bored, you may give this person a call to hang out for a little while. You may even invite them to a party that you're throwing! But that's just 'cause you wanna get as many people as possible. These people could perhaps grow into a normal friend if they pass some of the "unwritten rules" of friendship. I won't go into the details of those rules but you all have your own.

Then there's the "friends until we leave [name of institution]" friend - these people are a lot more common. You are friends with them all through high school or college and you really enjoy spending time together. You guys hang out often, eat lunch together, and just do lots of activities. You always say after the year is over that you will stay in contact. But they soon move away, or maybe even just go to a different school. Soon you guys become "hi" friends because all you do is poke each other on facebook or write on each others' walls and say "I miss you". Don't worry, you could become friends ag
ain, but it'll take a little bit more effort than those pokes...

Finally, there are the best friends. I do believe it is possible to have many best friends. These are the friends that really care about you no matter what you do. You could've just told them that you never want to see them again, but they'll come back, and probably even apologize even if it's not their fault. These friends have seen you at your worst, and still love you. They know some of your insecurities, and can even tease you about them because you know they'll help you with it.

I have quite a few best friends. Some live across the country, some across the globe, and one is even with me right now! I appreciate everything these friends do for me. They love me, appreciate me, and some even look up to me (for reasons which I have yet to figure out).

The reason I write this post is because a lot of people believe as I used to; that anyone who knows your name could be a potential best friend. I'm afraid that this is false. You click with some people and just don't with others. When you're feeling haughty and wanna be popular, say "hi" to a lot of "hi friends" and when you're feeling down and lonely, you could surround yourself with a mix. But when you're really desperate, rely on your best friends.

And don't be afraid to test limits with your friends. Ask them after telling them something really personal if they're ok. If they struggle, then maybe they can't handle what you told them. You can always ask your friends how far they will or will not go with you. Don't be afraid if some turn you down. Some friends just can't handle every minute detail of your personal life. But hey, you can always find more friends. God never wanted us to be alone. If He did, He would've created one world, for each of us.


  1. Good thoughts. I'm trying to evaluate where I fit in, I'm thinking at this stage a Facebook-quality one or maybe perhaps an institution friend soon haha!!

    But anyways great post and I look forward to more!

  2. :) Yeah Im pretty sure I was with you! ;) Great thoughts, I completely agree! You are a wonderful writer. It is so pleasant to read your posts. Keep them comin!

  3. Steven!! I'm in the picture! Does this mean that I am a "Friend until we leave [high school]?" I surely hope not. Because even though I do facebook you that I miss you...its cuz I really do. But I love you more!

  4. Steve, I don't know where'd you come down on this, but I feel like an "occasional hangout" friend. If you're willing and let me, I'd love to become a "best friend."