Hidden

What's the point in having,
So many enticing friends,
If all your walls just keep them
From seeing you 'till the end?

My heart is locked away
For no one else to see.
It sits there dark and cold
Never to be free.

When others try to come,
To try and light my heart,
I run and hide away
To scared to make a start.

What if I am loved
For just the real me?
Would that change who I am?
Could I love what I see?

I honestly don't know.
And I'm too scared to try.
The emptiness is safe here,
It gives me space to cry.

Here I am not ridiculed.
I am not told that I am wrong.
Out there I've been so hurt,
And judged for far too long.

Today my heart is heavy
For my soul is not complete.
It yearns for that connection,
Of two hearts with love replete.

It seems that others try
So hard to get close to me.
But I just look straight down
And refute just what they see.

I am at a loss
For what I can do here.
I honestly love others
But not my own self sphere.

How can I tear down,
What's taken years to build?
I'm trapped in my own fortress
Never to be fulfilled.

Help.